Oh what a night!

I am 100% completly and utterely knackered! Exactly what the title says, oh what a night! Where do I start? Last night i came home from seeing Maisy as usual, had my dinner, a bath, read some of my book and went to bed, all pretty boring normal stuff! As soon as my head hit the pillow I must of been asleep.. Then at half one my phone rang, I have two phones, and the one that was ringing only has one purpose, transplant.  However, as with me nothing is ever simple, and complicated tends to be how my life runs.  Few days ago, this same phone rang and I thought my heart was going to burst out my chest when I answered it, only to find out it was some random bloke asking to speak to 'Dave.'  So last night when my phone rang, I was suprisingly calm, partly because I was half asleep, but also I mostly expected it to be a wrong number.  So when I answered it I was in utter shock, but tried very hard to stay calm, which I'm not entirely sure I managed! After I'd done on the phone I rang my mum who was here in a flash.

On the way to the hospital my mum tired to make conversation but we were both finding it hard.  I am so grateful to be recieving this chance, but the big thing I've struggled with is that someone else's family is greiving for their loss, yet my family will be happy (yes scared, but happy will be an emotion) yet another family, during probably one of the worst times of their lives has allowed other lives to carry on living.

When we arrived I didnt quite realise the wait we would be in for.  I had numerous tests, was weighed, many mnay bloods taken, doctors and nurses in and out, signed consent forms and then we were left to wait.  Waiting to see if their kidney and pancrease were suitable for me.  I'd rang Liam in the meantime, who came and joined us in the waiting game. I was so tired, but couldnt relax enough to rest, but then who could? I couldnt stop thinking of the other family somewhere in the country who had just lost their loved one, and it made me feel privliged that this person had wanted to donate their organs, and about the amount of other people that would be sitting waiting just like me, would they be feeling the same? Hoping they had their family with them, like I did, chatting about rubbish! Nothing in particular, just keeping the conversation going! Liam bought travel connect four with him.. very useful!

We waited and waited and people popped in and out but never with any info, just to check up on us.  Every time the door came open I felt like my stomach was in my mouth and my heart started racing.  Eventually the door opened for the final time, it was my surgeon and a nurse and the transplant co-ordinator.  The kidney was not a suitable match, and even though the pancrease was, I needed a pair, so it was not to be today.  I didnt cry, but I was upset, I think it was all the waiting, the build up and by the time they'd come in to tell me it wasnt to be, I think I'd managed to get my head around it all.  However, this does mean, I have now had my practice run, and I am prepared.  I am ready for my new life, my new life to be healthier, and to have Maisy at home, happy and healthy.  I hope the call which can change it all is just around the corner.

Thank you to all my friends and family, for your calls, texts and messages of support, you are all great!!

Kate xx